CATEGORY: METZGER
PHOTO: HUCKLEBERRY HOUND

I had resisted getting a television set for a long time because I hated television.  All the programs I had watched at the houses of friends seemed inane to me and the long sessions of advertising seemed a ridiculous waste of time.  But when Eric was eight years old, at his urging, we got a television.  He immediately became addicted.

Now I had two things I hated: the television and Eric’s addiction.  I put restrictions on his watching, but that only made it worse.  He had memorized the TV schedule and knew exactly what programs he was missing and when.  If I gave him a chore to do, or his homework, he would rattle off the programs he could be watching.  His attention never seemed to be on what he was supposed to be doing.  Furthermore, he also had memorized the programs for all the other cities that were in the TV guide.

The final straw came one day when I asked him to sweep off the carport.  I came out to find him leaning on the broom, his glazed eyes fixed on that big television in the sky.  He said dreamily, “If we lived in Seattle, I could be watching Huckleberry Hound right now.  I took the television back to the used TV place where we had gotten it the very next day.  We had it less than a month and never again after that.  I now have a television but only to watch movies.