CATEGORY: PORT TOWNSEND

LETTER TO THE EDITOR OF THE PORT TOWNSEND LEADER
DANCER LOOSES HEARING ON SATURDAY NIGHT

Editor, The Leader,

I hear that the guests of the Palace Hotel have been complaining about the noise from The Judge’s Chambers, a drink and dance place across the street.  Well, if the people at the Palace can’t stand it, how do you think those of us who are in the place feel?  After the first blast, all that the dazed victim can do is stagger helplessly around flailing the air with upraised hands in a desperate but uncoordinated attempt to stop their ears.  (It is believed by some that this peculiar physical contortion is the same as dancing, the two being in many ways similar.)  

Perhaps everyone’s problem could be solved if the sound system could either be 1) turned down about one million decibels, which would not deprive the entire populace: it would eliminate the Rocky Mountain to Appalachia following no doubt, but could still be picked up east of the Cascades; or 2) turned off completely.

Cutting down the sound system would not only reduce the noise of the music but would also eliminate the irritating side sound which is the bellowing of the mob–bellowing being the only possible communication.

It would also make for better human relations–a condition that could eliminate still another noise, that of squabbling.  I mean, many misunderstandings could be avoided.  Here is one I overheard: “Sue got the shop closed barely at noon,” was misinterpreted, due to the din, as, “You are a lop-nosed burly baboon.”  Such miss-hearings are not conducive to peace and quiet.  Even the tenderest sweet nothings, ordinarily whispered into the velvet ear, take on a sinister and belligerent aspect when propelled on a screaming blast of air that must needs come all the way from the toenails.

I say all this on good authority.  I spent part of Saturday night “dancing” at the Judge’s Chambers and I now qualify as the most desirable kind of guest for the Palace hotel: namely, totally deaf.  Oh, didn’t you hear me:  I said, TOTALLY DEAF!