CATEGORY: CENTRAL OREGON

It is always difficult when a marriage breaks up to know what to say about it, or even what to say to one’s self—to know what actually happened.  Howard and I were not very compatible even in the beginning.  He was very good to me in a strange kind of way.  He was extremely permissive and let me do anything I wanted to do.  I was not promiscuous in any way, but I treated our house like a toy to be changed at will without even asking if it was alright with him, and he never ever protested.  Then he would get terribly angry about other things that seemed to me insignificant.  Perhaps he took out his frustration over the big things I did with the house by over reacting about little things I and the children did.

The main reason I left was because of the children.  Howard did not treat them very well.  The irony of this is that after I left and was often stressed trying to be mother and provider, I was not very good to them myself.

In the summer of 1962, my sister Mary, who lived south of Bend, invited me and my two children to stay with her until we could get settled somewhere near her.  When I told Howard that we were leaving, he was very angry.  He shouted that he would never pay child support.  I said that I would manage somehow and left anyway.  That was largely bravado; I had almost no skills with which to make a living.  I was lousy at typing and anything related to office work.  I knew how to sew; that was about all.  Fortunately I was an accomplished enough seamstress to be able to support us doing dressmaking.

Later, Howard offered to pay half of the $12,000.00 for me to buy a house in exchange for full ownership of the Metzger house for himself.  I was very grateful.